A few years ago, I probably wouldn’t have written this blog. Actually, that’s not true. Twenty-five years ago, I definitely wouldn’t have written it.
Early in my corporate career, I picked up a copy of Meditation for Dummies. At the time, my interest in meditation had very little to do with leadership. I was exploring it as a tool for my personal life and, if I’m being completely transparent, hoping to manifest some of the things I dreamed about—the husband, the beautiful home, the perfect family, the life I imagined for myself.
I achieved much of that, by the way!
What I didn’t realize when I picked up that book was that meditation would eventually become one of the most valuable tools in my leadership toolbox. Not because it magically created the life or career I wanted, but because over time, it helped me quiet the noise, become more self-aware, trust myself, and feel more connected to what I know to be true.
Today, as an executive coach, I see just how much leaders need that kind of space.
So many of the leaders I work with are smart, capable, successful high achievers who are managing a lot. Their minds are still running long after the workday ends. They’re thinking about the meeting that didn’t go well, tomorrow’s presentation, the difficult conversation they need to have, the organizational change coming around the corner, and the 47 other things on their list. They have trouble turning it off at night, transitioning from work to home, and creating boundaries between all the different parts of their lives.
I often describe it as living on the hamster wheel.
For years, I’ve talked about helping leaders get off that wheel so they can become more intentional about their choices and how they show up. But lately, I’ve been thinking there may be an opportunity to go a little further.
What if leadership isn’t only about becoming more intentional? What if it’s also about becoming more aligned?
And this is where things might get a little “woo woo.”
Many of us learned how to compartmentalize as we moved through our careers. I certainly did. Work went in one box. Family went in another. Stress, fears, dreams, relationships—they all had their own boxes too. We became incredibly skilled at packaging things up, putting them on the appropriate shelf, and opening whichever box the situation required.
In my corporate leadership years, that served me well. I followed the rules, worked hard, delivered results, and did what needed to be done. I always had a thread of care, concern, and heart running through my leadership, but I was still separating parts of myself rather than considering how all those pieces fit together.
Over time, that began to change. I became more intentional about how I showed up and more attuned to the people around me. In the workplace, we called some of that emotional intelligence and empathy. Later, I described it in my book as “leading with heart” and being intentional in how you show up.
Today, I think I would describe it a little differently.
I would call it aligned leadership.
Aligned leadership is what happens when your values, intuition, actions, energy, and intentions begin working together rather than competing for your attention. You aren’t leaving parts of yourself at the door when you walk into work because, really, none of us do. We are one whole human being showing up every day to interact, connect, influence, impact, and lead other whole human beings.
When you begin leading from that place, something shifts.
I have a coaching client who is incredibly open to growth. He rarely comes into our conversations with a perfectly packaged coaching topic. Instead, he brings whatever is occupying his mental real estate at that moment—a relationship, an anticipated conflict, a challenge, or something he can’t quite stop thinking about.
Our conversations are fluid. We explore what’s happening, look at it from different perspectives, and consider how he wants to show up. And then, inevitably, the thing we’ve been talking about seems to appear in his work.
Sometimes within days. Recently, it happened within an hour of our coaching conversation.
We joke about these moments, and he calls them coincidences. He would also really like us to spend more coaching time talking about his college football team so he can speak another national championship into existence. 😂
But I’ve come to believe there are very few coincidences. Maybe there are more coordinated incidents.
When something occupies our thoughts, attention, and energy, we become more aware of the opportunities, patterns, people, and circumstances connected to it. We notice things we might have missed before. We’re more prepared when the situation arrives, and because we’ve created space to consider our intentions, we can respond differently when it does.
Is that “woo woo”? Maybe.
But it’s also incredibly practical leadership.
Leadership is fundamentally about awareness, and that awareness has to start with ourselves. The most effective leaders don’t just understand business metrics, market conditions, and organizational challenges. They understand what’s happening inside themselves, too. They recognize when they’re operating from fear instead of confidence, reacting instead of responding, or forcing an outcome instead of creating enough space for clarity to emerge.
Meditation has helped me create that space, but meditation isn’t the only answer. I have clients who use apps like Headspace, while others insist they “aren’t good at meditating” because they can’t turn their brains off. My response is always that the goal isn’t necessarily to turn your brain off.
Find what works for you.
Maybe it’s exercise, a long walk, time in nature, prayer, journaling, or even a walking meditation. Maybe it’s simply ten quiet minutes before everyone else wakes up. The practice matters less than your willingness to create enough space to hear yourself again.
Because beneath all the business buzzwords we use—resilience, agility, adaptability, change leadership—there is something much more human: connection.
Connection to yourself. Connection to your purpose. Connection to the people you lead.
My own journey to understand this has been decades in the making. From watching Oprah as a teenager in the '80s, to Tony Robbins, Brendon Burchard, Abraham Hicks, Gabby Bernstein, and so many others along the way, I’ve absorbed ideas and inspiration that have ultimately helped me arrive at my own sense of what I know to be true.
And today, that feels grounding. Calm. Confident. Connected. There is less forcing and more knowing.
Maybe that sounds “woo woo” to some people. I’m okay with that.
Because I’m beginning to think the leaders we need for the future aren’t those who get better at compartmentalizing, pushing harder, or running faster on the hamster wheel. We need leaders who are deeply connected to themselves so they can more authentically connect with others. Leaders who create space to listen, notice, trust, and choose. Leaders who bring their whole selves to the responsibility of leading other human beings.
Perhaps that is the next evolution of intentional leadership.
A little less forcing. A little more alignment. And yes, maybe even a little more “woo woo.”
If you’re ready to get off the hamster wheel and explore what greater intention and alignment could look like in your own leadership, let’s connect. Sometimes the most powerful shift starts by simply creating enough space to hear what’s already there.
Recently, a client shared a story that perfectly illustrates the power of empathy in leadership. He’s been intentionally shifting his focus in 1:1s with his team, moving away from conversations that only cover project updates and tasks. Instead, he’s created a space for his employees to lead the discussion, allowing him to be fully present and actively listen.
One day, an employee asked for an impromptu 1:1 meeting. He made time for her, and she used the opportunity to talk about what was on her plate. As the conversation drew close, he asked, “Are you getting what you need from this? I don’t feel like I did much to help.”
Her response stopped him in his tracks: “Yes. I just needed someone to listen. I’ve been feeling lonely.”
This story struck me for a few reasons:
We often think of loneliness as occurring outside the workplace, but the reality is quite different. Recent studies highlight a growing trend: workplace loneliness is on the rise. Gallup reports that 20% of employees feel lonely on any given day. Hybrid and remote work models have become the norm. Still, not all companies or leaders have adjusted how they engage with employees to compensate for the lack of in-office collaboration and togetherness. Without the casual, face-to-face interactions we used to rely on—like coffee breaks or impromptu chats—employees can easily feel disconnected.
This disconnection affects more than just the individual. It can impact team morale, collaboration, and overall performance. Employees who feel isolated are less likely to engage in meaningful relationships at work, which can diminish their job satisfaction and even lead to burnout.
Although employee wellness metrics like stress, satisfaction, and happiness have been tracked since the World Health Organization recognized burnout as a workplace condition in 2019, loneliness is a recent focus. In 2024, companies are beginning to track loneliness as an indicator of mental health. When 1 in 5 employees feels lonely, it’s no longer a personal issue—it becomes a leadership issue.
This is where heart-led leadership comes in. As leaders, it’s no longer enough to focus solely on output and productivity. In today’s workplace, leaders need to engage with empathy, taking the time to understand what their employees are going through, professionally and personally.
My client’s story perfectly exemplifies empathy's critical role in leadership. By holding space for his employees to lead their 1:1s, he created a foundation of trust and psychological safety. His employee felt comfortable reaching out, not because she had an urgent task to complete, but because she needed a connection. And the result? She felt seen, heard, and supported, even though he offered no solutions.
Empathy in leadership doesn’t require grand gestures. Sometimes, it’s about making the time for a conversation, even when it’s unscheduled. It’s about listening without judgment and allowing employees to express what they need at the moment, whether that’s guidance, support, or just someone to listen.
It’s easy to overlook loneliness as a workplace issue, but the effects are far-reaching. Employees who feel lonely are more likely to disengage from their work and their teams. Disengaged employees can lead to decreased productivity, higher absenteeism, and lower retention rates. Simply put, loneliness can be costly—not just on a human level but also on an organizational one.
In contrast, when employees feel a sense of belonging, they are more likely to thrive. Brené Brown, in her research on vulnerability and connection, emphasizes the importance of belonging in the workplace. She says, “True belonging doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.” Creating an environment where employees can be their authentic selves and feel connected is key to combating loneliness.
Simon Sinek also highlights the power of connection in leadership. He often speaks about how great leaders create environments of trust where people feel safe and supported. In his words, “When we feel safe inside the organization, we will naturally combine our talents and strengths and work tirelessly to face the dangers outside and seize the opportunities.” This sense of safety and connection is vital in preventing loneliness and fostering engagement.
You can find more of Simon Sinek’s insights in his talk, Leaders Eat Last here.
So, how can leaders begin to address loneliness in the workplace and foster an environment of empathy?
While listening is a powerful tool, empathy goes deeper. It’s about understanding, sharing, and validating the emotions of others. In an increasingly disconnected world, empathy can be the bridge that connects teams, improves engagement, and fosters well-being.
As a leader, the question becomes: How are you creating space for your team to feel heard and supported? What can you do today to make sure that your team doesn’t just feel like employees but like valued, connected individuals?
➡️ Let’s start the conversation about how to build more meaningful connections in your workplace.
