I have never been great with directions.
When my son was a toddler sitting in his booster seat in the back of the car, he would confidently tell me which way to turn when I got flustered and unsure.
Imagine that — a tiny human calmly navigating while I was second-guessing every intersection.
Some people just seem wired with an internal compass. He clearly did not get that from me.
Over the years, I’ve realized my relationship with direction has shaped more than how I travel. It has shaped how I lead. And I know many leaders quietly wrestle with the same thing — making decisions and moving forward without complete clarity.
In fact, I think I know exactly where my own sense of direction comes from. My mom often tells the story about when my dad took me with him on a quick errand to the post office. What was supposed to be a short trip turned into four hours. He got completely lost. She was home with my baby brother worried about what might have happened.
Somewhere along the way, I adopted a similar relationship with direction. Not just on roads and highways, but in life too.
There have been many seasons where I have not felt one hundred percent clear about where I was headed. Times when I made what felt like the right turn only to realize later it meant recalculating. Times when I wondered if progress would lead to a breakthrough or simply a U-turn.
If you are a leader, you probably know this feeling.
Today we have incredible tools to help us find our way. GPS. Strategy frameworks. Leadership models. Data dashboards. AI. Advisors and coaches. All of these can help us move faster. They can reduce friction and provide guidance when the path feels uncertain. And yet, tools are not perfect.
Even now, when I travel to a client’s city filled with tall buildings and unfamiliar streets, my GPS will occasionally fail me. I will confidently start walking only to realize a few minutes later that I am heading in the wrong direction. Sometimes the signal drops. Sometimes the map spins. Sometimes I simply misinterpret what I see.
Leadership is no different.
You can have a beautiful strategic plan and still feel unsure. You can have access to more information than ever before and still wrestle with doubt. You can be surrounded by smart people and still need to make a decision without full clarity. The myth that great leaders always know the exact direction keeps many talented people stuck.
Where in your leadership might you be waiting for perfect clarity before taking the next step?
For years I tried to fix my lack of directional confidence in very practical ways. I challenged myself to get better. I would hear my mom’s voice in my head reminding me that streets run north and south and avenues run east and west. It is a grid. It should be simple. Some days that helped and other days it made things more confusing. Kind of like leadership advice.
Over time, my focus shifted. Instead of obsessing over always knowing the precise route, I began practicing something more important — trusting that clarity often comes after we begin moving.
Directionally, I might know I need to go that way. Not with perfect certainty. Not with a fully mapped path. Just with a quiet internal nudge.
So I step forward.
Sometimes the GPS locks in and confirms I am exactly where I need to be and sometimes I need to adjust. Occasionally, I have to turn around completely. None of that means I am lost. It means I am learning.
One of the most defining moments of “moving before I was fully clear” came when I made the decision to leave corporate.
For most of my career, I never imagined I would step away from that world. I loved leading teams, the pace and the impact. My identity was deeply connected to being an executive.
But a serious health scare became the nudge that said, go that way.
Or maybe more accurately… take a left here.
I did not have a perfectly mapped path. I did not know exactly what my next chapter would look like. I only knew that staying where I was no longer felt aligned.
Over the past nine years since making that decision, the road has not always been clear. There have been unexpected turns. There have been U-turns. There have been moments of recalculating and there has also been so much growth, purpose, and joy.
I made a commitment to myself to keep the road open — to stay curious, to listen for new direction, and to trust that adjusting along the way was part of building a meaningful journey.
Leadership often asks us to do the same.
Modern leadership requires both external guidance and internal connection. We absolutely should use the tools available to us. They make the journey more efficient and often more effective. But we cannot outsource our intuition. We cannot silence the voice that tells us when something feels aligned or when a different path might serve our people better.
Intentional leadership is not about having every answer before you begin. It is about developing the self-awareness and courage to move forward while listening deeply.
When leaders learn to trust their inner compass, they give their teams permission to do the same. They create cultures where movement matters more than perfection and learning matters more than always being right.
If the path ahead feels unclear right now, here are three practices that can help:
Perhaps the most powerful shift for me has been making peace with imperfection. I may never be the person who can instantly orient herself in any city without help. I may still have moments where I second-guess a turn. I may still find myself walking a block or two in the wrong direction. And that is okay.
Because I trust that I will find my way.
Leadership is not about flawless navigation. It is about resilience. It is about adaptability. It is about the willingness to keep going even when the signal drops or the map spins. The practice is not just about knowing where north is. It is about strengthening your inner compass so you can move with intention even when the path is unclear.
I am still learning. Still recalculating. Still listening.
It is not perfect.
But I am getting better. And that feels like exactly the right direction.
If you are navigating uncertainty in your leadership right now, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Coaching can help you strengthen your inner compass, build confidence in decision-making, and lead with greater intention. If this message resonates, I would love to connect and explore what direction might look like for you.
Years ago, I was working closely with a large sales organization, and there was one business book that seemed to be circulating through every corner of the team.
The book was Raving Fans by Ken Blanchard, and the concept quickly became a favorite among the sales leaders I worked with.
The idea behind the book was simple: when you create an experience that truly stands out, you don’t just earn satisfied customers—you earn advocates. People who talk about you, recommend you, and share their experience with others without being asked.
Looking back, I’ve often thought of that concept as the precursor to something most organizations measure today: Net Promoter Score. That familiar question many companies now ask their customers:
How likely are you to recommend us to a friend or colleague?
But what always stood out to me about Raving Fans wasn’t the measurement itself. It was the mindset behind it. The goal wasn’t simply to satisfy customers—it was to create an experience so positive that people naturally talked about it.
You created raving fans.
I remember our sales team even turning the idea into a bit of a friendly contest. The idea stuck with them so much that some created playful posters hanging in their cubicles that looked like those old bulletin board flyers you might see in a laundromat—“Roommate Wanted” or “Guitar Lessons”—with the little tear-off phone number tabs along the bottom.
Their posters said something along the lines of Raving Fans Wanted.
It was clever and interestingly the memory resurfaced recently during a coaching conversation with a leader who was feeling frustrated in her career.
She had been passed over for promotion twice and was struggling to understand why. Her results were strong, her work was thoughtful and consistent, and she was respected by the people who worked closely with her. Yet she kept coming back to the same question:
Why wasn’t her work speaking for itself?
As we talked, it became clear that the challenge wasn’t capability or performance. It was visibility—and more specifically, how uncomfortable she felt with the idea of promoting herself. She felt awkward, almost self-serving, highlighting her accomplishments. She preferred to focus on doing great work and trusted that others would notice. At the same time, she was watching colleagues around her openly share their successes and make sure their contributions were visible ... sometimes appropriately and sometimes a little generously.
This is a tension I see often with leaders I coach, and especially with women. Many thoughtful, high-performing leaders believe that if they simply do excellent work, it will eventually be recognized. For many women, advocating for themselves can feel misaligned with how they want to lead, so reframing visibility through the lens of advocates and champions often feels far more authentic. But the reality inside most organizations is that many of the conversations that shape careers happen when you are not in the room.
In many ways, this is really a conversation about leadership visibility, how your reputation and contributions are understood and advocated for even when you’re not present.
Leadership teams regularly gather to discuss promotions, succession planning, and new opportunities. When those conversations happen, people inevitably begin talking about people, about who might be ready, who has demonstrated leadership potential, and who could step into the next opportunity.
In those moments, reputations travel through the room. And often, the most influential voice advocating for you in that conversation isn’t your own.
It’s someone else saying, “Let me tell you about her.”
That realization brought me back to the concept of Raving Fans, because the idea applies just as much to leadership as it does to customers.
Instead of asking, How do I promote myself?, a more helpful question might be:
Who are my raving fans?
Who are the people who will speak about your leadership when you are not in the room? Who has experienced your work closely enough to advocate for you? Who believes in your judgment, credibility, and the way you lead?
Those voices matter. In many cases, they carry far more influence than anything you could say about yourself. This doesn’t mean leaders should ignore visibility altogether. Part of leadership is helping others understand the impact of your work and the value you bring to the organization. But effective visibility isn’t about constant self-promotion, it's about building trust, relationships, and credibility so that others naturally talk about your leadership when the moment calls for it.
So how do you intentionally build the kind of reputation that creates these advocates?
In my experience working with leaders and teams, raving fans are rarely created through self-promotion. They are created through consistent leadership behaviors that others experience firsthand.
Deliver meaningful results that others experience.
Strong work matters, but it becomes far more powerful when people experience it directly. When colleagues or leaders work alongside you on important initiatives and see how you think, solve problems, and navigate challenges, they gain firsthand insight into your leadership.
Make your impact visible without making it about you.
One of the most effective ways to share your contributions is to frame them around outcomes and team success. When leaders communicate progress, lessons learned, and results achieved, they help others understand the value of their work without needing to center themselves in the story.
Build strong relationships across the organization.
Advocates rarely come from people who only know you through reports or occasional meetings. They come from people who have worked with you, collaborated with you, and seen how you show up in real situations.
Support and elevate others.
One of the most powerful ways to create advocates is by becoming one yourself. Leaders who notice great work, recognize others publicly, and speak positively about colleagues create a culture where advocacy becomes mutual.
Over time, these experiences build trust and credibility. They shape how others talk about your leadership when you’re not present and this is when the real power of reputation begins to show up.
There is another side to this idea that I believe is just as important.
If you’re in a leadership role today, you also have the opportunity to become someone else’s raving fan. When leaders speak up for others in the room, recognize their contributions, and advocate for their potential, they create moments that can shape careers. Some of the most meaningful moments in my own career came from leaders who did exactly that—leaders who believed in my capabilities and spoke up for me when opportunities were being discussed. Those moments matter more than we sometimes realize.
So here’s a question worth reflecting on.
If your name came up in a leadership conversation tomorrow, who would be your raving fans? Who would be the person in the room willing to say, “Let me tell you about her.” And perhaps just as importantly—whose raving fan are you becoming?
Because leadership impact doesn’t grow only through the work we do. It grows through the trust we build, the experiences we create for others, and the people who believe in the way we lead—enough to say our name when we’re not there.
If you’ve ever struggled with how to advocate for yourself without feeling like you’re self-promoting, you’re not alone. Many of the leaders I work with—especially women—are navigating how to make their impact visible in a way that still feels authentic.
Building credibility, cultivating advocates, and ensuring your work is recognized in the right rooms are leadership skills that can transform a career.
If this resonates with you, I’d love to connect.
A few weeks ago, I noticed the word “vibe” kept showing up everywhere.
You probably hear it all the time too.
“We had a great vibe.”
“The vibe felt off.”
“I don’t know… something about the vibe just wasn’t there.”
It’s one of those words we use casually, almost instinctively. We may not always be able to explain exactly what we mean, but we know when we feel it.
The vibe is vibing.
And lately, I’ve been thinking about it a lot—especially in the context of relationships and leadership.
At the beginning of this year, I set a personal intention: to make energy decisions.
Not ego decisions. Not obligation decisions. Just energy decisions.
After years of running my own business and working closely with leaders and teams, I’ve become more aware of how precious our energy really is. Where we invest it matters. Who we spend it with matters. And the energy we bring into a room often shapes what’s possible in that moment.
That intention came into focus recently during a simple coffee meeting.
A friend who knows my work introduced me to another woman in our community. She thought there might be some alignment between what we both do professionally, and I’m always open to meeting thoughtful, accomplished people who care about making an impact.
So we met for coffee.
The conversation was nice. She was smart, kind, and clearly passionate about her work. But as we talked, I noticed that I was working really hard to find the connection.
I kept trying to imagine how our work might overlap. I searched for ways we could collaborate or support one another professionally. I found myself asking more questions, digging a little deeper, hoping something would click. It never quite did.
When the conversation ended, I walked away feeling surprisingly drained. Nothing had gone wrong. She was lovely. But I knew that I had just spent an hour trying to manufacture a connection that didn’t naturally exist.
The old version of me probably would have scheduled another coffee. After all, she had been introduced to me for a reason. Maybe the next conversation would reveal something. Maybe I just needed more time to figure out how we could work together.
But I reflected on my intention for the year to make energy decisions. Honestly, the energy just wasn’t there.
For the first time in a situation like this, I made a different choice. When she suggested getting together again, I politely declined. Not because she wasn’t wonderful, but because the energy didn’t feel aligned.
That decision might sound small, but it felt significant. It was a reminder that energy is a form of currency—and we get to choose where we spend it.
Around the same time, I came across a preview of a new book by Adam Grant called VIBE which caught my attention. In introducing the book, he talked about something many of us have experienced but rarely stop to analyze … why some interactions feel electric while others fall flat.
He shared a story about a speaking event where he had to replace a conversation partner at the last minute. On paper, the two of them didn’t seem like an obvious match. They had different personalities, interests, and barely knew each other. Yet when they stepped onto the stage together, the chemistry was undeniable. People assumed they had been friends for years.
He couldn’t stop thinking about why that moment worked so well. What he realized was that connection isn’t really about how much time we spend with someone, it’s about how we spend that time.
In this case, his conversation partner—an actor—encouraged them to rehearse the rhythm of the conversation backstage. Instead of exchanging long personal stories, they riffed on ideas together. They created momentum and energy before they ever stepped in front of the audience.
Reading that, I found myself nodding along.
In my experience as a coach, the most impactful moments in my work often happen when that same kind of energy is present.
There’s a certain ease to those conversations. I’m not searching for the perfect question or trying to impress anyone with insight. I’m simply present—fully listening, curious, and engaged.
My client is leaning in, I’m leaning in and ideas begin building on each other. Something new starts to emerge in the space between us.
Those are the moments when coaching isn’t “work”, it’s “ease”. The conversation flows, the insight lands and the energy expands.
You could say the vibe is right.
One way I’ve come to think about it is that a vibe is simply energy made visible.
You can feel it in a room. You can sense it in a conversation. You know when it’s present—and you know when something feels off.
Why don’t we always trust that signal?
Often we override it with logic or obligation. We convince ourselves we should keep investing time because the relationship makes sense on paper. Or because someone introduced us. Or because we don’t want to disappoint anyone.
But the longer I do this work, the more I believe that connection is the true catalyst for impact.
When people feel a natural alignment in energy:
In a world that’s moving faster than ever, that ability to connect quickly matters.
We don’t always have months to build relationships anymore. Leaders are navigating constant change, packed schedules, and endless demands on their attention. Many of our interactions happen in short windows—meetings, quick conversations, brief collaborations.
In those moments, the energy we bring matters … your presence matters, your curiosity matters … and the way you listen, respond, engage with others sets the tone for what happens next.
Which means the vibe you create isn’t just a personal experience—it’s a leadership signal.
Energy is contagious.
When a leader shows up distracted or disengaged, people feel it immediately. But when a leader brings genuine presence, curiosity, and openness into the room, the entire dynamic shifts. Conversations become more real. People feel safer speaking up. Ideas begin to flow.
The vibe changes and with it, the possibilities for connection, collaboration, and progress.
So if you’re thinking about how this shows up in your own leadership, here are a few simple practices that can help.
Notice how conversations feel—not just what is being said. Are people leaning in or pulling back? Does the conversation feel open and engaging, or forced and transactional?
Energy often tells you more than words.
In a distracted world, presence is powerful. Put the phone down. Listen fully. Ask one more curious question. When people feel truly seen and heard, connection accelerates.
Pay attention to where ideas start building naturally. Those are often the places where collaboration, innovation, and impact are waiting to happen.
Sometimes the most important leadership decision isn’t pushing harder—it’s recognizing when the energy isn’t aligned and adjusting accordingly.
Lately I’ve been asking myself these questions:
Where does the energy feel expansive?
Which conversations leave me feeling energized and inspired? Which relationships create momentum instead of depletion?
Sometimes the most powerful leadership decision we can make isn’t about doing more. It’s about paying attention to the energy in the room - and trusting what it’s telling us.
If you are curious about how your leadership presence and energy show up for the people around you, I invite you to take my Heart Leader Assessment. It’s a simple way to reflect on the intentional energy you bring to your team, your conversations, and your leadership.
Your vibe might matter more than you think. 💜
There’s a unique energy that comes with stepping into a new leadership role—especially when it’s an elevated one. Excitement, pressure, big ideas, a fresh mandate, and the desire to make an early mark all collide at once. Most leaders describe this moment as a mix of adrenaline and responsibility: “This is my chance to make an impact.”
And it is.
But here’s what often gets lost in the noise of expectations, strategy refreshes, and early wins:
You’re not the only one transitioning—your team is too.
In fact, while you’re thinking about the big strategic shifts, your new executive peers, and the expectations of the CEO or board, your team is silently trying to answer a different set of questions:
What does this mean for us?
How do we work with you?
What do you expect?
And how do we succeed under your leadership?
This is where many new leaders unintentionally misstep. Not because they aren’t capable, prepared, or well-intentioned—but because their focus tilts upward and outward, rather than downward and inward. They invest heavily in the organizational transition, while under-investing in their team’s transition to them.
And that gap becomes costly.
Much has been written about the importance of a leader’s first few months on the job. Michael Watkins’ classic book, The First 90 Days remains a go-to resource for leaders everywhere—because it teaches you how to diagnose the organization, gain early wins, and build momentum quickly.
What’s important to remember … you cannot accelerate your impact if your team stays stuck at the starting line.
I’m working right now with a leader who was recently promoted to a C-level role. He has plenty to focus on—aligning with a new executive team, reshaping his strategy, and identifying the levers he can influence now that he’s sitting one seat higher.
Yet one of the most important questions he’s learning to ask is also the simplest:
“How is my team experiencing me in this transition?”
That awareness is the difference between a leader who simply steps into the role and one who truly lands in it.
That’s why I use a New Leader Assimilation process with newly elevated executives—a focused, insight-driven approach that gives leaders the clarity, expectations, and early alignment they need to lead effectively with their teams. It’s not heavy, and it’s not a long-term intervention. It’s a quick-hit, high-impact alignment that ensures the team moves forward together, not in parallel.
Like it or not, assumptions are the silent killers of a new leadership role.
When a leader doesn’t take time to understand how their team is experiencing the transition, here’s what usually happens:
And the worst part?
By the time misalignment becomes visible, it’s already impacting performance.
Early alignment is not about hand-holding. It’s about eliminating ambiguity before it becomes friction. It’s about equipping your team to move with you, not behind you. And it’s about avoiding the trap so many new leaders fall into …
Leading with horsepower instead of partnership.
If you’re stepping into a new leadership role — especially an elevated one — here are four intentional leadership moves to ensure you don’t leave your team behind as you surge forward.
You won’t get real insights by asking, “How’s everything going?”
You will get real insights by asking:
Whether gathered through a structured interview process or through your own conversations, these insights are gold. They tell you exactly where your early leadership will matter most.
Because your team will absolutely follow you—but they want to know you see them first.
You know what you expect from your team, but do you know what they expect from you?
One of the most important parts of assimilation work is surfacing mutual expectations early. People rarely say these things out loud, yet they shape everything: trust, accountability, communication, decision-making.
Think of it as closing the gaps before they become frustrations.
Great teams don’t happen by accident. Even small agreements—how you communicate, how you meet, how decisions get made, become the scaffolding for trust and performance.
This is where I lightly weave in principles from frameworks like The Five Behaviors®—trust, communication, clarity, accountability, and results—to create shared language and early norms.
It doesn’t need to be exhaustive. It just needs to be intentional.
If there’s one idea to carry with you from all of this, it’s that early impact is never created in isolation. While your role may have changed, your success is still deeply connected to the people who now look to you for clarity, direction, and leadership in this next chapter.
You were selected for this role because of your experience, your judgment, and your ability to think strategically. Those strengths matter. But what ultimately determines whether your first 100 days build momentum—or quietly create friction—is how well your team understands you, trusts you, and feels equipped to succeed alongside you.
This is why leading the work and leading the team must happen at the same time. When leaders focus exclusively on strategy, speed, and early wins, teams are left trying to catch up. But when leaders slow down just enough to create alignment, surface expectations, and establish clear ways of working, something powerful happens: the team moves forward with them, not behind them.
Your first 100 days aren’t about proving that you belong in the role. They’re about creating the conditions for others to do their best work under your leadership. And when you do that—when you bring your team with you intentionally—your impact doesn’t just grow.
It compounds.
If you’re navigating a leadership transition and want to set your team up for success early, let’s connect!
We’re in a moment unlike anything most leaders have ever experienced. Technology, especially AI, is moving faster than our structures, our policies, and honestly… our comfort zones.
Organizations are racing to capture the benefits of efficiency, insights, and productivity. CEOs are pushing for acceleration, eager to stay competitive. Teams are ready to experiment, innovate, and learn.
And then there’s the leader who unintentionally slows everything down.
Not because they want to, and not because they don’t see the opportunity. More often, it’s because their leadership instincts were built for a different era, one that valued certainty, caution, and control. Those instincts once made them effective. Today, they can hold leaders back at the exact moment their organizations need momentum.
This tension is real, and I see it in many rooms I work in. Leaders are being asked to empower their teams and unleash new technology, while also protecting the business from risks we’re still trying to understand.
It’s a delicate balance and a harsh reality that everything around us is changing, and leaders must change too. The leadership behaviors that once made us successful are not the behaviors that will carry us forward.
And that’s where unlearning comes in.
Insights from the Stanford Digital Economy Lab’s Canaries in the Coal Mine highlight just how much the ground beneath us is shifting. For the first time in a long time, workers in their 40s and beyond are being hired at faster rates than early-career talent.
This trend is emerging because AI is absorbing the task-heavy, entry-level responsibilities that used to serve as foundational training grounds. Organizations now need people with judgment, critical thinking, and the capacity to navigate complexity—skills that come from real-world experience.
But, here’s the nuance … experience only creates impact when leaders are willing to rethink and relearn. Those who cling tightly to the leadership patterns that once defined their success may find themselves unintentionally creating friction where momentum is needed most.
I worked with a leader recently who faced this head-on. For years, she was known for her ability to anticipate risks, manage details meticulously, and ensure everything was buttoned up before moving forward. Her teams trusted her. Her results were strong. But as her company adopted AI-driven processes and began moving faster, those same strengths began slowing her team down. They hesitated to bring her ideas. They waited for her approval. They matched their pace to her comfort level rather than the pace the business needed.
In one coaching conversation, she said shared:
“I realized I was protecting the organization from risks that no longer mattered—and exposing us to risks I didn’t even see.”
That was the moment she began unlearning. Not her wisdom, not her experience—but the beliefs that no longer supported the leader she was becoming. As she let go, her team stepped up. They moved faster. They innovated more. They felt trusted and empowered.
That’s the shift unlearning makes possible.
As leaders, we must learn to hold two truths at once:
On one side, we have a responsibility to manage risk thoughtfully.
AI does raise questions about governance, accuracy, bias, legality, and ethics. Leaders cannot ignore these concerns.
On the other side, we must move quickly enough that our organizations—and our people—don’t fall behind.
The greater risk now is standing still.
Leading today means balancing these two forces, not choosing one over the other. And that balance requires unlearning old habits, old rules, and old beliefs about what “good leadership” looks like.
The leadership playbook that worked even five years ago no longer fits the world we’re operating in. A few old rules you may recognize include:
Old Rule: Wait for perfect information before deciding.
New Reality: Perfect information doesn’t exist in a landscape that evolves daily.
Old Rule: Protect your team by avoiding risk.
New Reality: Protect them by empowering thoughtful experimentation.
Old Rule: Leaders should have the answers.
New Reality: Leaders must create environments where the best answers can emerge.
Old Rule: Slow and steady keeps you safe.
New Reality: Slow and steady can mean falling behind.
Unlearning isn’t about discarding wisdom—it’s about updating it for the world we’re leading in now.
Here are three practical steps leaders can take to begin unlearning in a productive and confidence-building way:
As AI accelerates and organizations adapt, the leaders who succeed will be those who can let go of outdated patterns, embrace new ways of working, and create environments where teams feel empowered to learn, experiment, and grow.
Experience still matters—but only when paired with adaptability.
Confidence still matters—but only when paired with curiosity.
Leadership still matters—but it must evolve.
AI is reshaping how we work. Unlearning is reshaping how we lead. And in the coming years, the leaders who can do both—thoughtfully and intentionally—will set the pace for everyone else.
Let’s explore how unlearning old patterns, empowering your teams, and leading with intention can help you navigate change with clarity and confidence.
Book time with me here and let’s talk about what’s possible.
I see it all the time—smart, well-intentioned, “nice” leaders who pride themselves on collaboration and respect. Meetings are calm, conversations are polite, and people nod in agreement. On the surface, everything looks good. But underneath, something’s off.
There’s frustration that isn’t voiced.
Ideas that never see the light of day.
And decisions that take too long because no one wants to rock the boat.
It’s what I call the “niceness epidemic.”
And it’s costing teams clarity, energy, and speed at a time when they can’t afford to slow down.
We’ve all been there—sitting in a meeting where something needs to be said, but no one says it. Maybe you’re protecting harmony. Maybe you’ve tried before and been dismissed. Maybe you’re just tired of the conflict.
Whatever the reason, staying stuck in niceness doesn’t serve anyone. It keeps teams operating at the surface when they need to be working in the deep end—where trust, accountability, and real alignment live.
So what keeps us there?
In my work with leadership teams, three common dynamics keep people quiet when they should speak up:
Whatever the reason, “niceness” isn’t a strategy. It’s avoidance. And in today’s complex, fast-moving environment, avoidance slows everything down.
The antidote to niceness isn’t aggression—it’s vulnerability.
Vulnerability isn’t oversharing or venting emotions. It’s having the courage to be real. It’s the leader who says, “I think we’re out of alignment,” or “We need to pause and clarify what success actually looks like.”
That moment—when someone speaks truth—cracks something open. And that crack lets trust in.
With trust comes clarity. With clarity comes accountability. And with accountability comes momentum.
This is what Patrick Lencioni calls vulnerability-based trust—the foundation of any cohesive team. Without it, people comply. With it, they commit.
Executives often tell their teams to “move faster” or “get comfortable with being uncomfortable.” Here's the paradox: sometimes, we need to go slow to go fast.
Going slow doesn’t mean delaying action—it means taking the time to get aligned on direction and expectations before racing toward execution. When teams pause to talk about what “faster” really looks like, they save time later by avoiding rework and confusion.
In this era of stacked, continuous change, clarity doesn’t happen on its own. It takes intention, communication, and modeling from the top. As leaders, we have to contextualize what we mean by “speed” and give teams tangible examples of what it looks like.
Because clarity is the new speed.
When leaders stop avoiding the hard stuff and start naming what’s unsaid, the payoff is huge:
Teams that build this kind of trust don’t just move faster—they move together.
So how can you start modeling something other than surface-level niceness? Try this:
I’m not pretending this is easy. For those of us who value harmony (and I count myself in that group), niceness can feel like a badge of honor. But sometimes, that badge keeps us from saying what needs to be said.
The truth is, harmony isn’t the same as health. Healthy teams can debate, disagree, and recover stronger.
So what’s one action you can take this week to move from nice to real—for your own growth, for your team, and for the work that matters most?
If your team is ready to move beyond niceness into deeper trust, clearer alignment, and stronger results, let’s talk.
Leaders today aren’t just being asked to perform—they’re being asked to transform.
Transform teams. Transform strategy. Transform business models.
And in many cases? Transform themselves.
What once made you successful—deep expertise, reliable execution, clear ownership within your silo—isn’t enough anymore. Today’s business landscape demands something different. Something bigger.
Leaders are being stretched across boundaries. They're now expected to deliver enterprise‑wide outcomes in areas where they’ve never been before.
They’re moving from contributor to connector. From functional expert to visionary integrator.
I saw the early signs of this shift in my own corporate leadership over 15 years ago. Back then, “transformation” was the buzzword we were just starting to wrap our arms around—new operating models, service transformations, product pivots. I sat in more than a few strategy sessions where we debated whether the term transformation was already losing meaning.
But fast forward to today and there’s no debate.
Transformation isn’t a trend. It’s the norm.
And the pace hasn’t slowed. My coaching clients are consistently navigating software transformations, digital maturity efforts, cross-functional redesigns, and new product launches. They’re not only leading business change, they’re being asked to become the change.
And it’s exhausting.
Studies now show that the average leader faces nine major changes a year—and nearly 4 in 10 say they’d rather quit than lead through another transformation. This isn’t a matter of laziness or lack of talent. It’s the cumulative weight of change fatigue, unclear expectations, and the pressure to be brilliant in unfamiliar territory.
So what do you do when the scope of your leadership expands faster than your certainty?
In today’s landscape, the most effective leaders aren’t the ones with all the answers—they’re the ones with the confidence to figure it out.
This is the quiet skill that underpins today’s most adaptable, impactful leaders.
They don’t wait until they feel ready.
They lead while they’re learning.
They trust their ability to move forward—even when the path isn’t fully mapped.
Leadership Now Requires moving from → to …
McKinsey recently described what they call the evolution toward “networked leadership.” It’s a shift away from traditional, hierarchical models—and toward collaborative, cross-boundary influence.
Here’s a snapshot of how leadership is changing:
These shifts aren’t just theoretical—they’re what I see playing out with my clients every day.
In this new reality, leaders can’t rely on subject-matter mastery alone. Confidence now comes from the ability to move forward, collaborate widely, and think systemically.
One client’s recent experience brought this to life in the most powerful way.
One of my clients—a highly capable executive with a strong track record—was tapped earlier this year to stand up an enterprise innovation function from scratch.
Here’s the catch: she had no experience in innovation.
And worse, the function had failed at the company multiple times before.
She was met with skepticism from all sides.
“Been there, done that. What’s different this time?”
I remember those first coaching conversations. She felt like a fish out of water. And she admitted it. The scope felt massive. The expectations were unclear. And her past success had been built on deep functional expertise—not ambiguity.
But just a few months later, she lit up when I asked her what she was proud of.
“I created an advisory board. I pulled in employee fellows from across the business. I have board-level exposure and credibility with my CEO. And I didn’t burn a single bridge along the way.”
Her final reflection?
“I can run an innovation team. Nothing is impossible.”
So, what changed? She didn’t magically become an innovation expert.
She became a more confident, adaptive leader.
Here’s what I observed in her transformation—and what any leader can apply:
She made the complex accessible. No jargon. No over-explaining. Her clarity helped others say yes.
Tip: When overwhelmed, ask yourself: What’s the simplest way to say this? Start there.
She removed her bias, listened actively, and approached conversations as a collaborator—not a commander.
Tip: When you don’t know something, ask. Curiosity builds connection. Control shuts it down.
Her mantra became “just do it.” She started small, built early momentum, and let progress speak for itself.
Tip: Don’t wait to feel confident. Move anyway—and let action build belief.
She didn’t assume people knew the why or the plan. She shared, realigned, and invited others in.
Tip: If you want people to trust your leadership, communicate like it’s your #1 job. It is.
She paused often to celebrate wins and recognize growth. That reflection helped her track her own development—and show up stronger each time.
Tip: Confidence grows when you take time to notice how far you’ve come.
This is the moment to lead differently. To step out of the comfort of knowing—and into the confidence of becoming.
You don’t need to know everything. You need to lead with courage, clarity, and the conviction that you’ll figure it out as you go.
That’s what today’s transformations require.
If you’re being asked to lead in unfamiliar territory, know this:
You weren’t chosen by accident.
You were chosen because your leadership is ready for what’s next.
You don’t need to feel fully confident yet. But you do need a foundation of self-trust—and a few powerful strategies to lead with courage and clarity.
That’s why I created Unleash the Confident Female Leader—an online course designed for women like you, who are ready to rise into more visible, more impactful roles without waiting to feel “perfectly” ready.
Let’s stop waiting to be ready. Click here to learn more
When I work with leaders, our conversations often start with the whirlwind of today—the challenges they’re navigating, the pressure to deliver, the teams they’re managing, and the strategies they’re refining. And understandably so. There’s a lot coming at leaders right now.
But one of the most important roles I play as a coach is to help them lift their gaze beyond today’s fire drills. To pause the urgency just long enough to ask: Where are you going? And are you building the team, the function, and the strong relationships today that will support that future?
In today’s complex, fast-moving environment, strong relationships are no longer a nice-to-have. They’re a differentiator. A strategy. A lifeline. And they’re often what separates leaders who thrive in ambiguity from those who feel stuck in it.
We often think of leadership in terms of output—decisions made, goals hit, change managed. But beneath every major achievement is a network of relationships that either helped get it done or made it harder.
Years ago, I heard someone describe relationships at work like a bank account. You make deposits by showing up, following through, being helpful, building trust. And yes, you make withdrawals—especially when things go sideways, the stakes are high, or you need support.
That metaphor stuck with me throughout my corporate career—especially in my operational roles where I was constantly supporting sales and execution. I knew that in times of high pressure, I’d need to rely on others. And if I hadn’t made enough deposits? Those asks would come up short.
I called them “chits.” You never want to be in a storm with no chits in the bank.
Building strong relationships used to be something that happened over time—through projects, hallway chats, shared experiences. But let’s be real: the world of work looks very different today. Hybrid environments, heavier workloads, and increasingly matrixed organizations mean that relationships don’t build themselves anymore.
In fact, they often get de-prioritized.
That’s a mistake.
Because the complexity we’re navigating today means our relational bank accounts are being depleted faster than ever. The volume of change, the demand for cross-functional collaboration, and the sheer speed of decision-making require a new level of relationship equity.
So instead of hoping relationships will form organically, I encourage leaders to be intentional about building them—strategically, proactively, and authentically.
Let’s talk about how relationships are built today. In my coaching conversations, I’ve found that strong, strategic relationships form in three main areas:
One challenge I hear often from leaders is that building relationships feels awkward. Do I just randomly set up a coffee chat with someone? Won’t that seem strange?
Maybe. But when done with intention, it doesn’t have to.
Start with those you already collaborate with. Set up brief check-ins that include space for more than just status updates. Ask how you can support their priorities. Use your existing network—your inner circle—to help connect you with others.
Think of it like networking, but within your own organization.
As Korn Ferry recently shared in their article, "5 Ways to Be Sure Your Boss Sees Your Good Work“, many professionals feel uncomfortable promoting themselves or asking others to advocate for them. But enrolling your close-in circle in your success is not self-serving—it’s strategic. And it’s part of building that bank account.
If you’ve built trust with someone, let them know what you’re working toward. Ask if they’d be willing to share your contributions, advocate for your work, or make introductions to help expand your impact. You’re not asking for favors—you’re cultivating relationship equity.
Final Thought:
The complexity of leadership isn’t going away. If anything, it’s increasing. But your relationships—your leadership bank account—can be your most powerful asset.
Be intentional. Build early. And remember: the leaders who thrive in today’s world aren’t just managing tasks—they’re nurturing connection.
Let’s build something together.
If you're looking to elevate your leadership impact by strengthening your relationships and influence across your organization, I’d love to connect.
In my work with senior leaders across industries, one conversation comes up again and again—especially for leaders stepping into VP or senior leadership roles for the first time.
They say:
“I know how to deliver results. I’ve built my career on execution and getting things done. But now, the expectations feel different. I’m not just leading a team; I’m expected to influence across the organization, partner with the C-suite and think far beyond my function. How do I make that leap?”
That’s what I call the growth edge—the space between where you are today and the leader you need to become to thrive at the next level.
The shift from delivering results to driving strategy can feel like stepping onto a completely different playing field. And that’s because, in many ways, it is.
At the Director level, success often comes from execution excellence—delivering projects on time, leading teams to hit targets and ensuring operational efficiency. Those skills don’t disappear at the VP level, but they become table stakes. They’re the minimum expectation, not what sets you apart.
At the VP level, the spotlight widens. Suddenly, you’re:
It’s not like there’s a playbook or checklist for this shift. No one hands you a “how to VP” manual. The roadmap is unwritten because the real growth edge isn’t about what you do—it’s about how you show up.
Your growth edge is in your how.
This is where the biggest mindset shift happens—and where many leaders get stuck.
At this level, your how matters more than your what. How you engage your peers. How you frame and communicate ideas. How you build trust across functions. How you elevate the conversations you’re in.
Your growth edge is defined by how you step into that bigger, broader, more visible leadership role. It’s less about the technical mastery that got you here and more about the leadership presence and strategic thinking that will keep you here—and help you thrive.
As I recently shared recently with a team of senior leaders, those who successfully navigate this shift do three things consistently. These aren’t just “nice to do”—they’re essential for leaders operating at the VP level and beyond.
At the operational level, it’s easy to get caught up in the what—tasks, deliverables, and updates. But senior leaders don’t need (or want) to be in the weeds. They care about the why—the business impact, the risks, the opportunities.
Every time you communicate—whether to your team, peers, or boss—ask yourself: Am I framing this conversation around why it matters? Am I connecting this work to the bigger picture?
This small shift in framing elevates your voice and positions you as a strategic partner, not just an executor.
At higher levels, the ambiguity factor skyrockets. Change happens fast, decisions are made with limited information and senior leaders often operate in gray areas. In these moments, clear communication is a superpower.
If you don’t shape the narrative, someone else will. Be intentional about how you communicate, whether it’s a status update, a team meeting, or a one-on-one with your boss. Ask yourself:
Clear, intentional communication helps you manage up and foster alignment across your peers and teams.
It’s easy to get stuck in the day-to-day grind. But the leaders who thrive at the VP level are the ones who carve out time to zoom out. They don’t just execute—they ask bigger questions:
That shift—from short-term tactics to long-term strategy—is a hallmark of leaders who own their growth edge.
The truth is, no one is going to tap you on the shoulder and say, “Here’s exactly what you need to do to succeed at this level.” The most successful leaders write their own playbook, one built on intentional leadership.
Intentional leaders know that how they show up matters as much as what they deliver.
That’s why your growth edge isn’t just a career milestone—it’s a mindset shift. It’s about owning how you show up, how you add value and how you lead when the path forward isn’t always clear.
So, I’ll ask you the same question I asked that senior leader: What’s your growth edge right now?
Maybe it’s elevating your voice in executive meetings. Maybe it’s becoming more comfortable navigating ambiguity. Or maybe it’s building stronger cross-functional relationships to drive enterprise-wide initiatives.
Wherever your edge lies, I encourage you to lean into it—intentionally. The biggest growth happens when we’re willing to step into the discomfort of not having all the answers—and lead anyway.
If you’re navigating this shift—or preparing for it—I’d love to help you explore your growth edge and build the intentional strategies to thrive. Let’s connect to discuss how executive coaching or leadership workshops can help you (or your team) make the leap.
A few weeks ago, I attended a flooring convention with my husband. He runs his family-owned flooring business and while I was there to support him, I also took the opportunity to immerse myself in something I never get tired of—leadership conversations.
At one breakout session, I stumbled upon a discussion called The Power of the Network, featuring a panel of women in the flooring industry. This wasn’t just a conversation focused on female leadership in a traditionally male-dominated space. It was an inspiring reminder of one undeniable truth—that women bring exactly what is needed to leadership today.
For too long, women have been made to feel that being too emotional, too empathetic, or too relational was a liability in leadership. When in reality? These traits are our greatest strengths. And in 2025 and beyond, they are the very skills that will define successful leadership.
The next 10 years will bring as much, if not more, transformation than the last 100.
Read that again.
Organizations are navigating rapid technological advancements, shifting workplace expectations, and an increasing demand for human-centered leadership.
According to the World Economic Forum, the top leadership skills for 2025 are:
✔ Adaptability—because change is happening at an unprecedented pace.
✔ Communication—because clarity and alignment are essential for navigating complexity.
✔ Relationships—because leadership today isn’t about command and control but connection and collaboration.
This shift isn’t coming—it’s already here. And as women, we are best positioned to bring what’s needed.
Women thrive in relationships. We are natural connectors, collaborators, and community builders.
Women lead with authenticity. We bring our full selves to leadership, creating cultures of trust and engagement.
Women are grounded in who we are. We don’t need to lead like men to be successful—we lead best when we own our strengths.
This is the future of leadership.
In today’s workplace, leadership isn’t just about strategy and execution—it’s about connection. The ability to build strong, trust-based relationships is what separates effective leaders from the rest. And this is where women excel.
We lead with heart. We create environments where people feel valued. We foster cultures where employees feel seen, heard, and supported. This isn’t a soft skill—it’s a strategic advantage.
The old model of leadership—one built on hierarchy, dominance, and stoicism—is fading. In its place is a leadership style rooted in emotional intelligence, collaboration, and trust. Women don’t need to fit into the outdated mold of leadership. We are redefining it.
So, what does it take to fully embrace this new era of leadership?
Confidence isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about trusting yourself to figure things out. It’s not something you’re born with; it’s something you build, step by step. That’s why I created Unleash the Confident Female Leader, a 4-week online course designed to help women move from hesitation to conviction—so they can lead with clarity, presence, and authenticity.
Here’s a preview of how you can start building confidence today:
Women bring exactly what’s needed in leadership today—authenticity, connection, and the confidence to lead in a way that is true to who we are. If you’re ready to strengthen your confidence and step into your full leadership potential, join me for Unleash the Confident Female Leader, launching on March 1.
Click here to learn more and register!
