A few years ago, I probably wouldn’t have written this blog. Actually, that’s not true. Twenty-five years ago, I definitely wouldn’t have written it.
Early in my corporate career, I picked up a copy of Meditation for Dummies. At the time, my interest in meditation had very little to do with leadership. I was exploring it as a tool for my personal life and, if I’m being completely transparent, hoping to manifest some of the things I dreamed about—the husband, the beautiful home, the perfect family, the life I imagined for myself.
I achieved much of that, by the way!
What I didn’t realize when I picked up that book was that meditation would eventually become one of the most valuable tools in my leadership toolbox. Not because it magically created the life or career I wanted, but because over time, it helped me quiet the noise, become more self-aware, trust myself, and feel more connected to what I know to be true.
Today, as an executive coach, I see just how much leaders need that kind of space.
So many of the leaders I work with are smart, capable, successful high achievers who are managing a lot. Their minds are still running long after the workday ends. They’re thinking about the meeting that didn’t go well, tomorrow’s presentation, the difficult conversation they need to have, the organizational change coming around the corner, and the 47 other things on their list. They have trouble turning it off at night, transitioning from work to home, and creating boundaries between all the different parts of their lives.
I often describe it as living on the hamster wheel.
For years, I’ve talked about helping leaders get off that wheel so they can become more intentional about their choices and how they show up. But lately, I’ve been thinking there may be an opportunity to go a little further.
What if leadership isn’t only about becoming more intentional? What if it’s also about becoming more aligned?
And this is where things might get a little “woo woo.”
Many of us learned how to compartmentalize as we moved through our careers. I certainly did. Work went in one box. Family went in another. Stress, fears, dreams, relationships—they all had their own boxes too. We became incredibly skilled at packaging things up, putting them on the appropriate shelf, and opening whichever box the situation required.
In my corporate leadership years, that served me well. I followed the rules, worked hard, delivered results, and did what needed to be done. I always had a thread of care, concern, and heart running through my leadership, but I was still separating parts of myself rather than considering how all those pieces fit together.
Over time, that began to change. I became more intentional about how I showed up and more attuned to the people around me. In the workplace, we called some of that emotional intelligence and empathy. Later, I described it in my book as “leading with heart” and being intentional in how you show up.
Today, I think I would describe it a little differently.
I would call it aligned leadership.
Aligned leadership is what happens when your values, intuition, actions, energy, and intentions begin working together rather than competing for your attention. You aren’t leaving parts of yourself at the door when you walk into work because, really, none of us do. We are one whole human being showing up every day to interact, connect, influence, impact, and lead other whole human beings.
When you begin leading from that place, something shifts.
I have a coaching client who is incredibly open to growth. He rarely comes into our conversations with a perfectly packaged coaching topic. Instead, he brings whatever is occupying his mental real estate at that moment—a relationship, an anticipated conflict, a challenge, or something he can’t quite stop thinking about.
Our conversations are fluid. We explore what’s happening, look at it from different perspectives, and consider how he wants to show up. And then, inevitably, the thing we’ve been talking about seems to appear in his work.
Sometimes within days. Recently, it happened within an hour of our coaching conversation.
We joke about these moments, and he calls them coincidences. He would also really like us to spend more coaching time talking about his college football team so he can speak another national championship into existence. 😂
But I’ve come to believe there are very few coincidences. Maybe there are more coordinated incidents.
When something occupies our thoughts, attention, and energy, we become more aware of the opportunities, patterns, people, and circumstances connected to it. We notice things we might have missed before. We’re more prepared when the situation arrives, and because we’ve created space to consider our intentions, we can respond differently when it does.
Is that “woo woo”? Maybe.
But it’s also incredibly practical leadership.
Leadership is fundamentally about awareness, and that awareness has to start with ourselves. The most effective leaders don’t just understand business metrics, market conditions, and organizational challenges. They understand what’s happening inside themselves, too. They recognize when they’re operating from fear instead of confidence, reacting instead of responding, or forcing an outcome instead of creating enough space for clarity to emerge.
Meditation has helped me create that space, but meditation isn’t the only answer. I have clients who use apps like Headspace, while others insist they “aren’t good at meditating” because they can’t turn their brains off. My response is always that the goal isn’t necessarily to turn your brain off.
Find what works for you.
Maybe it’s exercise, a long walk, time in nature, prayer, journaling, or even a walking meditation. Maybe it’s simply ten quiet minutes before everyone else wakes up. The practice matters less than your willingness to create enough space to hear yourself again.
Because beneath all the business buzzwords we use—resilience, agility, adaptability, change leadership—there is something much more human: connection.
Connection to yourself. Connection to your purpose. Connection to the people you lead.
My own journey to understand this has been decades in the making. From watching Oprah as a teenager in the '80s, to Tony Robbins, Brendon Burchard, Abraham Hicks, Gabby Bernstein, and so many others along the way, I’ve absorbed ideas and inspiration that have ultimately helped me arrive at my own sense of what I know to be true.
And today, that feels grounding. Calm. Confident. Connected. There is less forcing and more knowing.
Maybe that sounds “woo woo” to some people. I’m okay with that.
Because I’m beginning to think the leaders we need for the future aren’t those who get better at compartmentalizing, pushing harder, or running faster on the hamster wheel. We need leaders who are deeply connected to themselves so they can more authentically connect with others. Leaders who create space to listen, notice, trust, and choose. Leaders who bring their whole selves to the responsibility of leading other human beings.
Perhaps that is the next evolution of intentional leadership.
A little less forcing. A little more alignment. And yes, maybe even a little more “woo woo.”
If you’re ready to get off the hamster wheel and explore what greater intention and alignment could look like in your own leadership, let’s connect. Sometimes the most powerful shift starts by simply creating enough space to hear what’s already there.
There’s something about the summer-time—longer days, summer vacations, and a subtle shift in pace—that creates space to step back and reconnect with what matters most. It’s a season that invites more connection, especially with the people we love. For many of us, that means more time with family. And if you’re anything like me, you’ve likely noticed that as your kids get older, that time together doesn’t happen as naturally as it once did.
Everyone has their own plans, their own interests, their own version of fun. And while that independence is something to celebrate, it also means that creating meaningful family moments requires a bit more intention than it used to.
That’s where something we call forced family fun comes in.
In our family, forced family fun isn’t about obligation—it’s about intention. It’s about creating moments that wouldn’t happen otherwise unless we made the effort. Sometimes it’s something simple, like a night at the pool hall followed by sushi. Other times, it’s planning a long weekend or a short getaway.
This year, my family took advantage of the Fourth of July falling on a long weekend and headed out to Colorado together. No friends invited, no splitting off into different directions—just time for us to reconnect as a family. While it may have started with a little resistance due to competing plans and a few questions about why we have to do this, it didn't end that way. What we’re really doing is creating space for connection and once we’re in it—laughing, sharing stories, being present—that initial resistance fades, and what’s left is something much more meaningful.
That idea—of intentionally creating connection—has been sitting with me lately, not just in my personal life, but in the work I do with leaders and teams.
I believe this same dynamic is playing out in the workplace.
The way we work has changed dramatically over the past few years. Hybrid and remote models have created flexibility and autonomy, which many employees value, but they’ve also introduced a new challenge—one that isn’t always immediately visible.
Connection no longer happens organically the way it used to.
And it's not just because people are working remotely. Even in organizations where employees are physically together, many spend their days moving from one back-to-back meeting to the next, often joining virtually from behind their own desks. Increasing workloads, competing priorities, and the constant pressure to keep up can leave little time for anything beyond heads-down execution.
As a result, the informal conversations, spontaneous brainstorming, and moments of shared laughter between meetings—those small, everyday interactions that quietly build trust and relationships—have become far less frequent. In their place, we have more structured communication, more scheduled meetings, more transactional exchanges. And while work is still getting done, something is missing.
Leaders are feeling it in the form of lower engagement, slower alignment, and teams that don’t quite feel as connected as they once did. It’s not that people don’t want connection. It’s that connection doesn’t just happen anymore. It has to be created.
That’s why so many organizations are investing in bringing their people together again.
In fact, according to a recent Korn Ferry commentary on workplace trends, nearly all companies are now hosting off-site events—far more than before the pandemic. At first glance, this might seem surprising, especially in a time when employees value flexibility and autonomy. But when you look a little deeper, it makes perfect sense. Organizations are trying to rebuild something that used to happen naturally—connection, trust, and a shared sense of purpose. In many ways, these off-sites are the workplace version of “forced family fun”. They are intentional moments designed to bring people together, even when it might feel inconvenient or unnecessary at first.
And just like at home, not everyone shows up fully on board. Some employees question the value. Others feel the tension of stepping away from their workload or personal responsibilities. There can be a quiet sense of skepticism—this better be worth it.
Over the course of my corporate career and now in my work with leadership teams, I’ve seen both sides of this.
I’ve experienced off-sites that felt like a nice break from the routine but didn’t create any lasting impact. People connected on the surface, enjoyed the experience, and then returned to work exactly as they were before. I’ve also been part of gatherings that were truly transformative. The difference wasn’t the location, budget, or even the agenda, it was the intention behind it.
When leaders are clear about the purpose of bringing people together—whether it’s to build trust, align on strategy, or create space for honest conversation—the experience shifts. It becomes more than just time away from the office. It becomes a catalyst. Trust, alignment, and connection aren’t built through email threads or status updates. They’re built through shared experiences, meaningful dialogue, and moments where people feel seen and heard. Those outcomes may not show up neatly in a spreadsheet, but they show up everywhere else.
In how quickly teams make decisions.
In how openly people communicate.
In how willing individuals are to support one another and move forward together.
What I find most interesting is how closely this mirrors what happens in our personal lives.
At home, we can’t assume connection will happen as our lives get busier and more complex. We have to create it. We have to make the time, even when it’s not the easiest option. And the same is true in leadership.
We can’t rely on connection to happen organically in today’s work environment. We have to be intentional about creating opportunities for it.
That doesn’t mean every team needs a large-scale off-site. It might be a smaller gathering, a team dinner, or even a well-designed working session that prioritizes meaningful interaction over just getting through an agenda. What matters most is the clarity of purpose.
Why are we bringing people together?
What do we want them to walk away with?
How will this experience help them show up differently afterward?
When those questions are answered with intention, the return becomes clear.
As you move through the summer, I invite you to think about where you might need to create more intentional space for connection. Maybe it’s with your family—planning that trip or that evening together that might not happen otherwise. Maybe it’s with your team—bringing people together in a way that goes beyond the transactional and into something more meaningful. The moments that feel a little forced at first … are often the ones that matter the most.
If you’re thinking about how to create more meaningful connection within your team or leadership group, I’d love to support you. Whether it’s designing an intentional off-site, strengthening alignment, or building trust in a more hybrid world, let’s start a conversation.
Reach out and let’s explore how you can create moments that truly make an impact—for your team and for yourself.
A CEO once told me it was my job to “sell hope.”
If I’m honest, I didn’t like it.
At the time, I was sitting in a C-level role, part of a leadership team navigating a significant transformation. The organization was evolving in ways that touched nearly every part of the business—our strategy, our structure, how teams operated, and how success would be defined moving forward. There was pressure to move quickly, to adapt, and to lead others through something that didn’t yet feel fully formed.
So when I heard the phrase “sell hope,” my immediate reaction was resistance.
It felt disingenuous. Like we were being asked to paint a picture that might not come true. Like we were leading people somewhere we couldn’t guarantee. And as a leader who deeply valued trust and authenticity, that didn’t sit well with me.
But over time—and through that transformation—my perspective began to shift.
What I came to understand is that selling hope isn’t about spin. It’s not about glossing over the hard parts or pretending uncertainty doesn’t exist. It’s about belief. And more importantly, it’s about helping others find belief when they’re still trying to make sense of what’s changing around them.
During that time in our organization, we were asking people to stretch in new ways. To let go of what was familiar. To adopt new ways of working and, in some cases, redefine their role entirely. And while we as leaders had been part of the conversations shaping that future, our teams were just beginning to process what it meant for them.
That gap—between where leaders are and where their teams are—is where hope either takes hold or begins to break down.
Because in that space, people are quietly asking themselves:
Where are we going?
Why does this matter?
Is this going to be worth it?
That’s where leadership shows up in a very real way.
If I’m being completely honest, part of my initial resistance to “selling hope” came from the fact that I hadn’t fully done the work myself.
I understood the strategy.
I could communicate the plan.
But I hadn’t yet connected to it on a deeper level.
And you can’t sell something you don’t believe in.
That realization was a turning point for me. I had to slow down and reflect—not just on what we were doing, but on why it mattered. I had to find my own connection to the future we were trying to create before I could expect anyone else to follow.
Because hope isn’t something you simply communicate. It’s something people experience through you—through your energy, your clarity, and your conviction.
This is especially true in times of change. Leadership insights continue to reinforce that hope isn’t passive—it’s something we actively create by helping others move forward with purpose and belief.
As leaders, we are naturally ahead. We’ve had more exposure to the strategy, more time to process it, and more context around where things are headed.
But if we move too far ahead without intentionally bringing our teams with us, something begins to shift.
It can feel like we’re moving confidently forward—clear on the direction, energized by what’s possible. But when we pause and look back, our teams are further behind than we realized. They’re still trying to understand, still processing, still questioning.
And in that moment, the gap between leader and team isn’t just about pace—it’s about perception.
When people feel too far removed from where their leaders are, they can begin to feel disconnected from the vision. They may question the intent behind decisions. They may feel like things are happening to them rather than with them.
And if that gap continues to widen, something even more important is at risk—trust.
Because when leaders appear too far ahead, without bringing others along, people can stop seeing them as someone to follow and start seeing them as someone they don’t fully understand… or trust.
Selling hope, then, isn’t about pulling people forward faster. It’s about staying connected enough to guide them forward. It’s about helping them see what’s ahead without losing sight of where they currently are.
So what does this look like in practice?
There are a few intentional shifts that can make all the difference when you’re leading through change:
We are leading in a time that feels faster, more complex, and more uncertain than ever before. Change is no longer a one-time event—it’s constant.
And in that kind of environment, hope becomes a stabilizing force.
Not as a slogan.
Not as a leadership tactic.
But as a responsibility.
Because whether we realize it or not, people are always looking to their leaders for signals. They are watching how we show up, how we communicate, and how we respond to uncertainty.
And in many ways, they are asking: Is there something here worth believing in?
If there’s one takeaway from my own experience, it’s this:
You can’t sell hope if you don’t feel it yourself.
So before you try to inspire others, pause. Connect to the deeper purpose behind where you’re going. Ground yourself in the impact you want to create.
And then lead from that place.
Because when hope is real—when it’s felt, not forced—it becomes one of the most powerful forces in leadership.
If this resonates with you and you’re leading through change right now, I’d love to connect. You can learn more about my work or start a conversation here.
I have never been great with directions.
When my son was a toddler sitting in his booster seat in the back of the car, he would confidently tell me which way to turn when I got flustered and unsure.
Imagine that — a tiny human calmly navigating while I was second-guessing every intersection.
Some people just seem wired with an internal compass. He clearly did not get that from me.
Over the years, I’ve realized my relationship with direction has shaped more than how I travel. It has shaped how I lead. And I know many leaders quietly wrestle with the same thing — making decisions and moving forward without complete clarity.
In fact, I think I know exactly where my own sense of direction comes from. My mom often tells the story about when my dad took me with him on a quick errand to the post office. What was supposed to be a short trip turned into four hours. He got completely lost. She was home with my baby brother worried about what might have happened.
Somewhere along the way, I adopted a similar relationship with direction. Not just on roads and highways, but in life too.
There have been many seasons where I have not felt one hundred percent clear about where I was headed. Times when I made what felt like the right turn only to realize later it meant recalculating. Times when I wondered if progress would lead to a breakthrough or simply a U-turn.
If you are a leader, you probably know this feeling.
Today we have incredible tools to help us find our way. GPS. Strategy frameworks. Leadership models. Data dashboards. AI. Advisors and coaches. All of these can help us move faster. They can reduce friction and provide guidance when the path feels uncertain. And yet, tools are not perfect.
Even now, when I travel to a client’s city filled with tall buildings and unfamiliar streets, my GPS will occasionally fail me. I will confidently start walking only to realize a few minutes later that I am heading in the wrong direction. Sometimes the signal drops. Sometimes the map spins. Sometimes I simply misinterpret what I see.
Leadership is no different.
You can have a beautiful strategic plan and still feel unsure. You can have access to more information than ever before and still wrestle with doubt. You can be surrounded by smart people and still need to make a decision without full clarity. The myth that great leaders always know the exact direction keeps many talented people stuck.
Where in your leadership might you be waiting for perfect clarity before taking the next step?
For years I tried to fix my lack of directional confidence in very practical ways. I challenged myself to get better. I would hear my mom’s voice in my head reminding me that streets run north and south and avenues run east and west. It is a grid. It should be simple. Some days that helped and other days it made things more confusing. Kind of like leadership advice.
Over time, my focus shifted. Instead of obsessing over always knowing the precise route, I began practicing something more important — trusting that clarity often comes after we begin moving.
Directionally, I might know I need to go that way. Not with perfect certainty. Not with a fully mapped path. Just with a quiet internal nudge.
So I step forward.
Sometimes the GPS locks in and confirms I am exactly where I need to be and sometimes I need to adjust. Occasionally, I have to turn around completely. None of that means I am lost. It means I am learning.
One of the most defining moments of “moving before I was fully clear” came when I made the decision to leave corporate.
For most of my career, I never imagined I would step away from that world. I loved leading teams, the pace and the impact. My identity was deeply connected to being an executive.
But a serious health scare became the nudge that said, go that way.
Or maybe more accurately… take a left here.
I did not have a perfectly mapped path. I did not know exactly what my next chapter would look like. I only knew that staying where I was no longer felt aligned.
Over the past nine years since making that decision, the road has not always been clear. There have been unexpected turns. There have been U-turns. There have been moments of recalculating and there has also been so much growth, purpose, and joy.
I made a commitment to myself to keep the road open — to stay curious, to listen for new direction, and to trust that adjusting along the way was part of building a meaningful journey.
Leadership often asks us to do the same.
Modern leadership requires both external guidance and internal connection. We absolutely should use the tools available to us. They make the journey more efficient and often more effective. But we cannot outsource our intuition. We cannot silence the voice that tells us when something feels aligned or when a different path might serve our people better.
Intentional leadership is not about having every answer before you begin. It is about developing the self-awareness and courage to move forward while listening deeply.
When leaders learn to trust their inner compass, they give their teams permission to do the same. They create cultures where movement matters more than perfection and learning matters more than always being right.
If the path ahead feels unclear right now, here are three practices that can help:
Perhaps the most powerful shift for me has been making peace with imperfection. I may never be the person who can instantly orient herself in any city without help. I may still have moments where I second-guess a turn. I may still find myself walking a block or two in the wrong direction. And that is okay.
Because I trust that I will find my way.
Leadership is not about flawless navigation. It is about resilience. It is about adaptability. It is about the willingness to keep going even when the signal drops or the map spins. The practice is not just about knowing where north is. It is about strengthening your inner compass so you can move with intention even when the path is unclear.
I am still learning. Still recalculating. Still listening.
It is not perfect.
But I am getting better. And that feels like exactly the right direction.
If you are navigating uncertainty in your leadership right now, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Coaching can help you strengthen your inner compass, build confidence in decision-making, and lead with greater intention. If this message resonates, I would love to connect and explore what direction might look like for you.
I see it all the time—smart, well-intentioned, “nice” leaders who pride themselves on collaboration and respect. Meetings are calm, conversations are polite, and people nod in agreement. On the surface, everything looks good. But underneath, something’s off.
There’s frustration that isn’t voiced.
Ideas that never see the light of day.
And decisions that take too long because no one wants to rock the boat.
It’s what I call the “niceness epidemic.”
And it’s costing teams clarity, energy, and speed at a time when they can’t afford to slow down.
We’ve all been there—sitting in a meeting where something needs to be said, but no one says it. Maybe you’re protecting harmony. Maybe you’ve tried before and been dismissed. Maybe you’re just tired of the conflict.
Whatever the reason, staying stuck in niceness doesn’t serve anyone. It keeps teams operating at the surface when they need to be working in the deep end—where trust, accountability, and real alignment live.
So what keeps us there?
In my work with leadership teams, three common dynamics keep people quiet when they should speak up:
Whatever the reason, “niceness” isn’t a strategy. It’s avoidance. And in today’s complex, fast-moving environment, avoidance slows everything down.
The antidote to niceness isn’t aggression—it’s vulnerability.
Vulnerability isn’t oversharing or venting emotions. It’s having the courage to be real. It’s the leader who says, “I think we’re out of alignment,” or “We need to pause and clarify what success actually looks like.”
That moment—when someone speaks truth—cracks something open. And that crack lets trust in.
With trust comes clarity. With clarity comes accountability. And with accountability comes momentum.
This is what Patrick Lencioni calls vulnerability-based trust—the foundation of any cohesive team. Without it, people comply. With it, they commit.
Executives often tell their teams to “move faster” or “get comfortable with being uncomfortable.” Here's the paradox: sometimes, we need to go slow to go fast.
Going slow doesn’t mean delaying action—it means taking the time to get aligned on direction and expectations before racing toward execution. When teams pause to talk about what “faster” really looks like, they save time later by avoiding rework and confusion.
In this era of stacked, continuous change, clarity doesn’t happen on its own. It takes intention, communication, and modeling from the top. As leaders, we have to contextualize what we mean by “speed” and give teams tangible examples of what it looks like.
Because clarity is the new speed.
When leaders stop avoiding the hard stuff and start naming what’s unsaid, the payoff is huge:
Teams that build this kind of trust don’t just move faster—they move together.
So how can you start modeling something other than surface-level niceness? Try this:
I’m not pretending this is easy. For those of us who value harmony (and I count myself in that group), niceness can feel like a badge of honor. But sometimes, that badge keeps us from saying what needs to be said.
The truth is, harmony isn’t the same as health. Healthy teams can debate, disagree, and recover stronger.
So what’s one action you can take this week to move from nice to real—for your own growth, for your team, and for the work that matters most?
If your team is ready to move beyond niceness into deeper trust, clearer alignment, and stronger results, let’s talk.
As we step into the year 2023, corporate leaders are faced with an ongoing challenge of a rapidly changing business environment. For a few of my clients, I am seeing them face a very pressing and unfortunate issue - navigating the challenge of layoffs. This has created a sense of uncertainty and fear among employees and highlighted the importance for them to navigate - purposefully, transparently, and with care and compassion.
Recently, I observed one of my executive clients communicate a very difficult message to his team that 50 jobs would be eliminated. Each one of the employees in the room was directly impacted. He delivered the news clearly yet compassionately as he explained the circumstances, acknowledged the impact of the decision, and offered space & uncomfortable silence for the individuals sitting in front of him to process the news best.
He put himself in the shoes of his employees - many tenured and committed for years to the organization - and took a heart-centered approach to share the difficult news. In navigating the challenge of layoffs, he met his employees in a place of empathy, went off script a little where necessary, and did his best to hold the space they needed to receive the news. He showed up as an intentional leader during a difficult time, and his actions served as an excellent example for other executives to follow.
In my book, Lead with Heart & Leave a Legacy, I talk about my own experience as a corporate executive faced with communicating a layoff. The lack of progress against the company strategy led to a top-down decision to execute a reduction in the workforce across the organization.
It was a heartbreaking day, but my team needed a sincere, transparent, vulnerable leader. The experience taught me the importance of leading with care and compassion during difficult times and proved to be the best approach in minimizing impact on the people.
When navigating the challenge of layoffs, intentional leaders prioritize taking steps to minimize the impact on their employees. They do this by adopting a heart-led approach that focuses on transparency, compassion, and being connected.
Here are three things that intentional leaders do when navigating the challenge of layoffs:
For my executive client, how he chose to communicate the devastating news influenced how those individuals reacted and accelerated their ability to process through the change. While life-changing, they felt supported and mirrored their leader's calm sense of commitment.
The year 2023 will continue to present many challenges for corporate leaders, including the ongoing issue of layoffs. By communicating transparently, showing care and compassion, and being mindful of the concerns of their remaining employees, corporate leaders can navigate the challenge of layoffs while minimizing employee impact and fostering a culture that will thrive in the years to come.
If you are a corporate leader looking to develop intentional leadership skills in your organization and cultivate a culture of care and compassion even in the most challenging of times, I invite you to work with me.
I don’t know about you, but this Thanksgiving was the first time since 2019 we could have the extended family together. Our celebration included 50 family members – aunts, uncles, and cousins – together in close quarters, sharing stories, laughter, and hugs. We were all in a room together… without masks! It felt like a renewed spirit of family and connection.
Because so much time had passed since our last gathering, it did take some time to “break the ice.” We had to intentionally work to increase the comfort level and rebuild the connection with extended family we hadn’t seen in a while.
We all needed time and space to symbolically remove our (COVID) masks and create space to step into our authentic selves. Reflecting on this experience highlighted the importance of authenticity and reminded me of how often this topic has come up in my work recently, especially in my work with self-aware leaders.
I recently asked a group of leaders – “What do you believe builds trust most quickly within a team?” Their answer? Authenticity.
But when it comes to being authentic, we often get it wrong – thinking “being authentic” always equates to “feeling comfortable.”
HBR published information about the authenticity paradox – digging into how feeling like you’re “faking it” can signify growth. Contrary to popular belief, genuine authenticity is about vulnerability and self-awareness, often requiring leaders to step out of their comfort zone.
What does the authenticity paradox look like in practice? Navigating the desire to be your “true self” when at the office while also recognizing that you are a work in progress that can (and should) grow and evolve to meet your organization's and team's changing needs.
As their careers advance, many leaders are challenged to elevate their leadership contributions in expanded or new roles. It’s at this moment that we must fight the urge to retreat to familiar behaviors and styles that feel authentic but are actually a step back. Growth often requires leaders to live in discomfort, being willing to create a new authenticity that reflects their expanded skills and responsibilities.
So many of us buy into the myth that authentic leaders have unwavering confidence in who they are. We believe it’s a sign that we are not authentic if we show signs of weakness, self-doubt, or discomfort. This couldn’t be further from the truth.
Authentic leaders commit to learning more about themselves. They are vulnerable in sharing their mistakes and humble in their willingness to learn as they go.
I’ve noticed the importance of self-aware authenticity even more lately. These days, the new normal includes hybrid work schedules with remote teams and physically disconnected colleagues. With the leaders and teams I work with, on the rare occasion that teams come together in person, they need time to “remove the mask” and step into their authenticity. Everyone needs a little space before they are prepared to let themselves be seen and connect with one another.
Removing the mask takes courage and intentionality.
Leaders need the space to recognize the disconnect and the courage to stay open in the discomfort, so we can ultimately bring our best to the office and the teams we lead!
Interested in helping your leaders remove their masks and understand the crucial importance of self-aware, vulnerable authenticity?
I work directly with leadership teams to develop the soft skills required to succeed in the ever-changing landscape of today’s modern workplace.
